In recent posts, I’ve outlined steps for addressing your teen’s verbal abuse. So far, you have been preparing yourself to take appropriate action. You have examined your own barriers to correcting the problem. You have learned ways to focus your thoughts and manage your emotions. Congratulations! Now you are ready to take a strong, loving […]
In my previous post, we looked at how to detach from anger triggered by your teen’s verbal abuse. I suggested a formula that might help you respond calmly, wisely, kindly and firmly. As I explained, you can use this formula as a stop-gap measure until you have a chance to create your own. Just to […]
In previous posts we discussed the role of guilt in a parent’s response to verbal abuse. Today we’ll look at anger. While guilt can be hard to detect, anger is unmistakable. It isn’t a subtle feeling that creeps in the shadows. It can be overwhelming and hard to control. Some parents tend to blow […]
Before continuing our discussion of guilt, I would like to send you a message of hope that is rooted in my own life. In raising my three children, I carried a great deal of guilt about my mistakes. Like some of you, I desperately wished for do-overs. I write this on the birthday of my […]
In my last post, we started the Guiltbusters exercise. I hope you’ve had a chance to think about your insights — and the advice you gave our dear friend, Mr. Doh. Now it’s time to apply that advice to yourself. You’re ready to take that advice and make a plan. Make a Plan On each […]
Guilt haunts so many parents! Many of us accept it without question. It clouds our view like an overcast sky. It feels so normal that we may not even recognize it. Guilt makes us vulnerable to verbal abuse. When our kids say something outrageous, we feel no outrage. We secretly believe that somehow it’s our […]
To recap our last discussion, if you don’t know in your heart that your teen has crossed a line — if you instead question whether you might deserve abuse — you will convey confusion, not conviction. If you feel an uncomfortable sense of guilt, that discomfort will weaken your resolve. It will prevent you from […]
My next several blog posts will explore why so many parents accept verbal abuse from their teens. If your teen addresses you in insulting ways, are you stung by cruel words? Do you take them in stride and swallow your feelings? Do you tell yourself that it’s normal “these days” for teens to vent anger […]
“Identity formation is a core issue of adolescence.” You have probably heard that statement more than a dozen times. Yes, yes, yes, of course. Teens need to find themselves. Everyone knows that. Or do we? Do we truly understand this knowledge and how it can completely transform the way we treat our teens? To me, […]
Welcome to Coachable Parent, a haven for parents of teens. By founding this community, I hope to create a world of support around you as you raise the next generation. No job is more important than yours! Would you like more allies, more feedback, more fresh ideas, more encouragement, more empathy in your life? Would […]